Imagine that you have suffered a setback. You understand the stages that many people go through after such an experience. They travel through shock, denial, paralysis, anger, hurt, healing, new strength, new goals, hard work, success and self-confidence.
You are aware of the journey, but the setback still hurts. How can you re-take control? One approach is to spend time in a ‘sanctuary’, then shape your future and achieve success. Let’s explore these steps.
1) You can spend time in a sanctuary.
People who suffer a setback need time to lick their wounds. So it can be useful to spend time in your chosen sanctuary, even if it is only for 10 seconds.
“I tend to find a quiet corner where I can reflect,” said one person. “Certainly I find it useful to buy time to get angry, do some ‘grieving’ or make sense of what happened. Then I gather my strength to plot the way forward.”
Where do you go to rest and reflect? You may sleep, go for a walk, talk with a friend or whatever. What do you then do to regain your strength?
Try tackling the exercise on this theme. First, describe a potential setback that you may experience in the future. You may be overlooked for promotion, fail to get a customer order, have your book rejected by a publisher or whatever. Second, describe the possible sanctuaries you may use to recover from the setback. Third, describe what you will do to gather your strength. Try completing the following sentences.
2) You can focus on shaping your future.
Sanctuaries are great for a while. But then it's important to begin exercising your muscles, otherwise the body atrophies. When you feel ready, emerge from the sanctuary and begin shaping your future.
“I had two choices after suffering a particular setback,” said one person. “Put simply, I could dwell on the past or develop my future. I could choose to succeed or sulk. So I chose to succeed.”
People do not always choose what happens to them – but they do choose their response to these events.
Let’s return to the potential setback you may face. Peak performers ask themselves the following questions in such situations.
“What is my goal? What are the real results I want to achieve? What are the ‘controllables’? How can I build on what I can control and manage what I can’t control?”
“What are the potential options for working towards the goals? What are the consequences – the pluses and minuses – of each option? What is the attractiveness of each option? Are there any other creative solutions?”
“Which is the route I want to pursue? How can I make this happen? How can I get a quick success?”
You will, of course, have your own model for taking charge of the future. Looking at the potential setback you may face, try completing the follow sentence.
3) You can work hard to achieve success.
It’s then time to do the work. People choose different ways to work hard to achieve success, but several factors are worth bearing in mind.
After deciding on your chosen path, you will pursue a clear action plan. It is good to start with an early success, because this creates positive momentum. You can then follow your daily disciplines. One MD explained.
“The new owners of our parent company ‘displaced’ me one Friday. After taking a week off to collect my thoughts, I then made ‘getting a job’ a full-time job.”
“I sat down at 8.30 on the Monday to contact people by email and focused on those in my network. These were the people who knew what I offered.”
“Writing customised letters – rather than sending out a conventional CV – I outlined 3 things I could deliver to help their business to be successful. I also said I would be visiting their part of the country within the next month, even if I wasn’t.”
“I asked if it would be useful to drop in for a coffee. Within 6 weeks I had two offers, both at a higher salary than my previous job.”
Keep working hard. But be patient and encourage yourself on the journey. When you hit a wall, retire for a short time to your sanctuary to regain strength. You will then emerge to work even smarter.
“Breakdowns can lead to breakthroughs,” we are told. They can spur us towards greater success. Let’s assume you have charted your strategy for overcoming the setback. Bearing this route in mind, try completing the following sentence.
There are many models for overcoming setbacks. One approach is to spend time in a sanctuary. You can then shape your future, set specific goals and work hard to achieve your picture of success.
Posted on Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011 at 4:32 pm in Strengths, The Strengths Blog | RSS feed
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April 14, 2008 at 8:40 am