Imagine you are a leader. Your work will probably involve meeting with individuals, small groups and large gatherings. Whilst you may follow similar communication principles in each situation, the way you express these will differ in practice.
Good communicators aim to ‘connect’ with people. They often start by building on what people have in common and clarifying the goals for the conversation. They give and receive information, find creative solutions to challenges and make clear contracts about the future. If appropriate, they ensure that everybody moves forward towards a shared picture of success.
Good communicators look ahead and rehearse interactions. They focus on:
* The specific results to achieve – for themselves and other people.
* The key strategies for doing their best to achieve these results.
* The possible challenges and how to deal with theses successfully.
Whilst this may sound mechanical, such preparation allows them to be fully present and spontaneous with people. Poor communicators are often more concerned with what they want to say, rather than with the results to achieve from the conversation.
So let’s explore how you can connect with people in ‘one-to-one’, ‘one-to-few’ and ‘one-to-many’ situations. Few leaders are good in all these situations. There are reasons for this that we will consider later.
1) You can communicate one-to-one.
Good communicators rehearse before planned interactions. Looking ahead to the potential conversation, they focus on the: ‘Who, What, Why, How and When?’ They ask themselves some of the following questions.
* Who is the person with whom I want to communicate?
Who is the specific person? What are they like? What is their personality? What are their values? What is their picture of success? What are the challenges they face? What will they be looking for from the session?
What is their communication style? What is their mental model: how do they look at the world? What are their interests? What are the examples I can use to show I understand their world? What for them would make it a good conversation or session?
* What are the real results I want to achieve?
What are the real results I want to achieve from the communication? What do I want people to be feeling, thinking and saying after the session? What are the key messages I want to give people? What are some of the Dos and Don’ts to bear in mind during the conversation or session? What will make it a successful session?
* Why do I want to achieve this result?
What will be the pluses? For example, for the organisation, team, customer, colleagues, the person, others or myself? How can I build on these pluses? What may be the potential minuses? How can I minimise these minuses?
* How can I do my best to achieve these results?
How can I connect with people? How can I build on what we have in common? How can I get the ‘social part’ right? How can I then move onto the agenda?
How can I establish clarity? How can I position what we are going to explore? How can I make sure we agree on the goals for the session? How can I double-check everybody is okay with the agenda? How can I give people the overall context before giving concrete examples?
How can I be myself in the session? How can I communicate clearly? How can I put the key messages in a way that people can receive? How can I bring the messages to life with real examples from people’s world? How can I make sure people have received the messages?
How can I show I am listening? How can I show respect for people? How can I show I understand their point of view, even though I might have another view? How can I keep building on what we have in common? How can I build the conversation and work towards the agreed concrete results?
If I need to give tough messages, how can I start by giving the overall context? How can I explain the challenge and establish clarity: the results to achieve? How can I explain the possible choices and consequences of each option? How can I make sure we do our best to find creative solutions? How can we find, as far as possible, ‘win-win’ solutions? How can we agree on the conclusions? How can we then make clear contracts and get concrete results?
How can I conclude the conversation? How can I summarise and clarify what we have agreed? How can I double-check we all have the same picture? How can I make sure we make clear contracts about the way forward? How can I make sure people have the support needed to get concrete results? How can we get some early successes?
* When do I want to achieve these results?
When do I want to communicate with people? When and where is the best time? How can I set-up the situation to create the best chance of success? After the conversation, how will I know we are on the right road? What will be happening that will show we are achieving the agreed concrete results?
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Imagine you are going to meet somebody in a one-to-one situation. You may be meeting a customer, a team member, your boss or whoever.
If you are the ‘leader’ in the conversation – the one who has initiated it – you will probably ask some of the questions mentioned above. You will focus on:
‘Who is the person? What is their agenda? What are the results to achieve from the conversation? How can I do my best to achieve these results?’
If you are the ‘follower’ in the conversation – the one who has been asked to attend – you will probably ask similar questions. But you may also add: ‘How can I do my best to contribute and make it a positive conversation?’
Try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to do three things.
* Describe the specific situation where you may want to communicate with somebody on a one-to-one basis.
* Describe the real results you want to achieve.
* Describe the specific things you can do to connect with the person, communicate clearly and achieve the desired results.
Try completing the following sentences.
2) You can communicate one-to-few.
Imagine you are going to meet people in a ‘one-to-few’ situation. If you are the ‘leader’ in the conversation, you may be conducting a team meeting, having a catch-up conversation with a small group or facilitating a workshop.
When meeting the people, it will be important:
* To outline the goals of the meeting.
* To check if anybody else would like to add to the agenda.
* To explore the first topic.
It may be useful to ‘open up’ the first topic, explain your views, invite others to share their views, listen carefully and then, at an appropriate time, ‘close down’ the topic.
Making a decision, you will ensure everybody is clear on the way forward. Moving onto the next topic, you will continue until the agenda is completed.
Sometimes you may play a different role in a group, such as when meeting with peers or simply contributing to a departmental meeting.
This is a situation that catches out some people, especially if they get bored. Whilst they may function well when leading a meeting, they lapse into unprofessional behaviour with peers.
Preparation is the key to participating in a group. You can choose:
* To decide to make a positive, rather than negative, contribution.
* To anticipate everything that may happen in the meeting.
* To rehearse how you can communicate clearly and contribute to achieving a successful meeting.
Try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to do three things.
* Describe the specific situation where you may want to communicate with people on a one-to-few basis.
* Describe the real results you want to achieve from the meeting.
* Describe the specific things you can do to connect with the people, communicate clearly and achieve the desired results.
Try completing the following sentences.
3) You can communicate one-to-many.
“I enjoy individual and small group meetings,” said one person, “but I feel uncomfortable talking to large groups.
“Maybe it is because in smaller sessions I can see how people respond and also get into dialogue. This is more difficult in big groups. The things you say seem to disappear into the ether.
“For somebody like me, who thrives on instant feedback, it can be quite challenging to speak to big groups.”
Good leaders develop the skills of communicating in ‘one-to-many’ situations. This includes some of the following themes.
* They aim to be themselves in the situation.
They use their own voice, language and examples. The key to giving compelling speeches is ‘to be yourself’.
This sounds easier said than done. One person who helps people to make this step, however, is Katie Ledger, who is a superb communications coach.
She enables people to be their true selves when communicating with others. You can discover more about her work at:
* They spend a lot to time preparing.
They practice, practice, practice. They practice until they can forget. They clarify the ‘Who, What, Why, How and When’. They know their audience, the key messages to give and how to put these in a way people can receive.
* They start the session by positioning what they are going to say.
They often give the context – the bigger picture – before going on to give concrete examples. They do this in a short but instructive way. This helps people to see things in perspective.
* They give the key messages to people by moving between the ‘concept’ and the ‘concrete’.
They give an idea and then illustrate it with an example that people can recognise in their daily lives. They may also use stories, visuals, film clips, exercises and other media to bring the messages to life.
* They conclude the session by outlining the next steps and also giving people chance to digest the ideas.
One approach that works is to invite people to form small groups. Bearing in mind what been said, people are invited to list:
* The things they like.
* The concerns they may have and any other questions.
* The support they would like if they are going to carry out the suggested actions.
People list these items, which are fed back to the speaker. The speaker does their best to address these points.
That does not mean everybody will like the answers, but at least the topics have been aired. The speaker can follow-up with their responses to any other points that have not been answered.
Try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to do three things.
* Describe the situation where you may want to communicate with people on a ‘one-to-many’ basis.
* Describe the real results you want to achieve from the session.
* Describe the specific things you can do you to achieve the desired results.
Try completing the following sentences.
Some people are good at one-to-one; some at one-to-few; some at one-to-many. Whichever area you work on, prepare your ‘script’ and then express yourself. You can relax, rehearse and rise to the occasion.
Posted on Monday, February 11th, 2013 at 3:57 pm in Sharing knowledge, The Strengths Blog | RSS feed
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